i frequently get this weird kind of FOMO when i see cool stuff or nice interactions on masto, a sort of outsidery imposter syndrome thing, and it comes with this weird sense of urgency where i need to act now or i'll miss my chance or that i won't be able to be friends with someone if someone else beats me to it, as if they'd hit their Friend Quota and disappear, or like the world was going to run out of cool people i could be friends with

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im sure it comes from a lot of places, social anxiety, depression, but i think part of it is a weird kind of culture shock coming back to mastodon where i'm suddenly surrounded by cool people, and my brain, used to my life being lonely and uneventful and isolated, feels like this is something unique, something that i could lose

it's a weird problem to have, being sad because i'm in a positive environment again, but i feel like i've forgotten how to make friends, like i'm not noteworthy enough to be friends with cool people, like i can't Post Good Enough to keep up

anyway, if you ever feel like you don't know what you're doing or you don't belong, just remember that basically no one else knows what they're doing either, we're all just trying to make ends meet in a world way too big, with no instructions, and if you ever feel like you could really use a hug right now, you're far from alone in that feeling

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