autism stuff 

thinking about a post i read the other day on quora about how "high functioning autism" basically just means "autistic people who have the capability of masking often/believably enough to be vaguely accepted by the status quo"

and how huge a problem this actually is, b/c most of these autistic folks who have to mask constantly suffer from chronic fatigue and probably have had their stims and other coping mechanisms trained out of them making it even harder to unwind when/if they can

autism stuff 

another problem with this is that people just expect them to constantly mask without downtime. which just isn't possible. and when someone's mask starts to fall apart because they aren't getting enough alone time or there are significant stressors using up too much of their energy, non-autistic people are rarely understanding of it

they either take it personally or just don't like that the person is doing things that they personally think are weird and unnecessary

autism stuff 

non-autistic people often complain about the minor things autistic people do to cope but do not seem to notice that autistic people have to deal with the ways non-autistic people are different from them *constantly* or suffer consequences in their jobs, relationships, living situations, etc

non-autistic people take for granted all the ways that autistic folks automatically accomodate them, and i think it'd be a good idea for them to start being more accomodating in return

autism stuff 

Exactly this.

I was called out so often for leaning in wired postures, looking away during conversations, being rude, failing at boring tasks, appearing grumpy, talking too loudly, talking too quietly etc. that I actively learned all this until I didn’t notice it anymore. Being constantly fatigued and failing at even more things being the consequence.

autism stuff 

@cinnamon I'm feeling this so hard rn

Ive been crying for two hours (and for the past few days) bc of something that apparently seems trivial - or even good - to everyone around me

I feel like I'm overreacting, but at the same time i'm so fucking tired and stressed. Actually I'm not, bc those are NT words to describe very-much-not-NT emotions. They sound wrong and like an understatement, but it's as close as I can get

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