@codl It should just be a basic courtesy thing. you don't call people things they don't like to be called.

But it shifts from being just plain rude to part of an oppressive dynamic when one person has the power to get away with ignoring basic courtesy and the other person is punished by society for objecting to being denied basic courtesy.

@codl yeah. i'm like... if you don't want to be called "guys" or "they" or "cute" or ~whatever~, like, tell me and i'll try my damnedest to respect that[1] --- you don't gotta even give a reason why.

on the flip, tho... if you come to me like X actually is Y, and it's always meant Y.... uh, probably you're... wrong? independent of X and Y? 'cause language is messy and dialects are personal and fluid and it's ~fine~.

imo

[1] although i aaam a fuckup. i'm rly sorry. v_v