mental health thoughts 

our community responses to our peers mental health crises range from "not helpful" to "actively damaging" and it's so rare for people to critically analyze it i think because a lot of us go through the same stuff so the assumption is that, having similar experiences, of course we're responding in the best way we can. but actually we're just like, repeating the ways we were /taught/ to respond to mh crises and those ways are Bad

mental health thoughts 

i'm gonna,, talk about this a bit sorry in advance

Show thread

list of bad ways to respond to mh shit, 1/? 

ok here's a list of common (shitty) ways people respond to mh stuff and how they actual affect the person in question:

what you say: you aren't bad!! (you aren't broken, you're such a good person, etc)
things they will hear:
-i've tricked you into thinking i'm good, making me worse
-so there's no reason for me to be feeling this bad stuff??
-you aren't listening to me (i just explained how i did bad stuff)

Show thread

list of bad ways to respond to mh shit, 2/? 

what you say: it really does get better! i went through this too
what they hear:
-other nd ppl have a chance to heal but not me
-all this stuff i'm going through right now doesn't matter??
-i'm only worth something once i'm better

what you say: i'm worried about you
what they hear:
-oh god i made them upset now i have to make them feel better
-they don't respect my agency as an adult

Show thread

list of bad ways to respond to mh shit, 3/? 

what you say: have you tried [x]
what they hear:
-oh god this is my fault if only i did that stuff i wouldn't be feeling this
-they're assuming i haven't tried that already??
-they just want to feel good about helping

what you say: you're not alone/other people go through this
what they hear:
-they're not speaking from personal experience or backing this up so it's not very believable
-other peoppe manage this and i can't

Show thread

responding to mh shit, 4/? 

the core problems with more or less all of these responses are the following:
-they do not actually validate the person's emotions
-they assume the person is right now actively trying/wanting to get better, instead of Venting (an incredibly important mh care thing)
-they assume they know better than the person who is literally talking about their own brain and experiences lol
-they often put pressure on the person to convince the advice giver their advice helped

Show thread

(some better ways of) responding to mh shit, 5/? 

first!! don't fucking try and figure that shit out on ur own homie?? /talk/ with ur community and directly to people u support about what makes them /personally/ feel better. get their consent to do stuff for them. learn what types of responses are triggering or aggravating 2 them. there is no one size fits all answer everyone has different comforts and needs

Show thread

(some better ways of) responding to mh shit, 6/? 

that being said, there's some responses that /seem/, in my personal experience, to be generally better received.

one: literally just confirm you're listening. use whatever tools available for the type of interaction (faving, saying mmhmm, whatever) to just remind them you're paying attention

Show thread
Follow

(some better ways of) responding to mh shit, 6/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy yeah, that's generally what makes me feel a little better when i'm upset. just being noticed and heard is very important when it feels like you're insignificant and drowning

i don't really want people to solve my problems, i'm already trying to do that and have more experience at what helps me than they do, but i do want to know that my emotions are valid and the pain i'm feeling is real

(some better ways of) responding to mh shit, 6/? 

@ctrlaltdog fuck yeah exactly?? something something "people want to fix shit instead of living with discomfort" and how that hugely, damages our relationships to ppl we know who are fucking struggling

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Chitter

Chitter is a social network fostering a friendly, inclusive, and incredibly soft community.