snow @snowlight@chitter.xyz

(also fwiw I don't know what makes two people friends, so I tend to assume unless someone says otherwise that we are not; I hope my comments didn't imply any invalidating of friendships I wasn't aware of bc that)

goodnight

I don't know where I'm going with this, so I guess I'll go to bed.

especially since... being on XMPP and IRC hasn't helped that much either. I just kinda sit and hope people will engage with me there. but about what? there isn't really a reason to talk with me, and that's not anyone else's fault.

mew.

(this should probably be tagged "the part where I complain"-- full stop)

I guess I just miss feeling like I belong. I don't feel like I "belong" here; there's no community I feel I can be part of, making friends is incredibly difficult... I never know if I've really made friends on here. if I have, I've been a bad friend because I'm really bad at engaging with anything

that said, there are some good things about social media. you can often up and disappear on sites that aren't facebook with some ease, and having multiple accounts isn't seen as a weird thing in most cases. there are some things you can do in this sort of environment that you can't on a BBS or whatnot, but still...

I really wish I got more time with forums and "classic" IM as it were

it felt like I didn't have to assert my existence as much? like, I can't shake being terrified that I'm just going to disappear into the ether because I haven't been around for a while, and I have no idea how to engage with people on sites like Twitter or here anyway (more Twitter with its metric-based timelines)

(i know nearly nothing about it thus far; IM protocol that appears to be federated)

kinda wondering how many people use matrix and if it'd be worth toying with making an instance

things are getting better

what the hell it's already midnight

meow

hello I am home and clean and sleepy

bluh... is it normal to have a raspy as heck voice after a cold x.x

warning about the future: I'll probably be on here very little, and I might as well be dead to discord at this point. I'd recommend contacting me over XMPP, and also I might see about having my znc bouncer point to freenode or something (that seems to be the server the cool people use). sorry about that

the only winning move is not to play