Have an idea for a little bat bot that I really wanna make for vr. I really should bring a note pad or sketch book with me to work so I can sketch ideas and shit. My brain is in overdrive for some reason tonight and I don't really have a way to put it to use or save for later. Brain why must you do this when I'm BUSY
Musings on my own mental state (+)
I've noticed that lately I haven't wanted to consume most kinds of media any more, and I'm leaning more and more towards creating things. Especially with my new access to VR my desire to create is incredibly strong. NeosVR and the lovely folks there have definitely played a part in that. it's a good change honestly. I lost touch with my creator side after the mess of my early adult life. I'm glad it's back. Might go back to streaming once I'm a day walker again.
NSFW furry art: girls and their toys
Commission for @Tris_the_mouse, enjoying her toy collection.
I mean I have good motivation for wanting to model. I'm playing with vr stuff and I fucking want my bat in vr. I sure as hell don't have the spare money to throw around on getting one made so making it myself is the only option. But I don't want this to just... Evaporate again... It's happened so many fucking times and I'm sick of it. Just don't know how to make it stop.
But I'm so fucking afraid of it dropping again like it always fucking does and I don't know how to fucking stop it from happening. I hate my fucking brain, just fucking work normal for fucking once for gods sake.
And god have I tried to commit to just one fucking thing, only to loose interest just a month or two later and I can't bring myself back to it, it's a fucking struggle just to reignite interest in ANY of my old hobbies. I used to stream. Hell I had partnership at one point. I used to draw, I used to write shitty text based c++ games. Why cant I go back to them I don't understand. My latest interest is 3D modeling. It's the only one I'm able to rekindle interest in.
Everyone around me is involved in cool shit tech wise like custom 3D models, programming, white hat activities etc and I'm just sitting here like... I wanna be them. I want to be good at something, specialize in something but I'm so fucking scatter brained and distracted that I can't just fucking pick one and fucking just commit to one fucking thing for once in my god damn life and I'm so tired of feeling average or meh in fucking everything I do.
28yo trans bat lady dorking her way through life one flap at a time.
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