Pinned toot

if you're harpy and you know it, flap your hands 🎡🎡

some interesting dreams, from what i can remember

one involved taking on a job disposing of anomalous or scary objects in the universe

another involved some kind of road trip with our brother, that i don't remember much of

tired gender nonsense thought 

can't even sign into deviantart anymore because its new site doesn't function at all on this computer and it doesn't give the option to switch to the old version unless already signed in

i need to decide what we're doing today.

besides take the trash out

an essay i published in logic magazine's play issue last winter is now online. its on playing a profoundly broken but ultimately meaningful game of rune factory 3:

how to pronounce 'kitsch':

however you want

#actuallyAutistic folks

Who else feels like corporeality, as in having a physical meat body, kinda bites?

I feel like an alien driving around a meat robot, that takes a lot of precise maintenance and I have to do it right. I'd like to be a being of pure energy, or baring that, in a computer or robot that I can move around to different computers/robots if I wanted.

(just boost if you don't consider yourself autistic)

wonder why kitsches leg jiggling seems to prefer left leg

am tired of sucking down resources, am tired of subconsciously expecting eventual help while simultaneously chastising myself because there is no guarantee of it and knowing that it's severely limited regardless

it always ends up easier and 'more important' to just put what hope and energy we get towards the same old tired assignments

cutting ties with present family as much as possible was ideally supposed to make things like this easier to comprehend. i guess ingrained habits don't just evaporate, though

i just. don't see how we could take such a leap, cognitively and [without significant luck] practically

i dunno. is it hard to care about this city and neighboring towns, having lived here like this for so long?

what would we find investment in in a new town? wouldn't it be equally indifferent to our existence, an equal struggle, but with less familiarity and less comfort? does the comfort matter?

i wish we didn't feel more inadequate and incapable of travelling than we do of staying

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